近来耳闻的自杀事件,不免让人感慨万分。然而感叹的群众,却存在着平时都盲目参与施压却浑然不知的草木愚夫。
忧郁症难道就只能是一无所有之人的特权吗?比别人拥有更多的能力,财富,名望,经验之者,难道就连做人基本难过的权利都没有了吗?当这类人心情不好想发泄一番时,周遭的人总会指责说做人理应知足常乐。那些自称为心直口快,其实却只是缺乏同理心的人啊,不要以你们自己的无知去评论别人的感受。为什么有些人会选择在巅峰时期结束自己的生命?因为不是每一种伤别人能懂,不是每一种痛别人能体会。毕竟每个人的心底,都有自己的痛苦与挣扎。钟铉,Chester Bennington都是把世界看在眼底的名人,可是或许就因为他们今时今日所拥有的身份及地位,却也让他们丧失了某些普通人可以享有的基本权利。
你们的痛,我明白,安息吧。
~* MY LIFE - with - MY CHOICE - at - MY PACE *~
Sunday, 14 January 2018
Monday, 1 January 2018
Year End Review – 2017
And so…this is the summary of how I waved goodbye to 2017:
- Dined at a classy Chinese Restaurant that looks impressive but the food was fairly below expectation.
- Watched the movie “Jigsaw” at the cinema. (Facepalm…a horror movie to wrap-up the year?!)
- Instead of having some drinks as initially discussed, a colleague and I ended up having King Prawns & Octopus platter, Escargot, Cheesecake and Pana Cotta on the table.
- Rather than mingling with the crowd, we headed straight back home almost immediately after the countdown. (Our bed has been summoning us…)
- Not forgetting the last kind gesture I received this year where I was spared from carrying a bag of goods meant for an exchange, as the kind storekeeper has thoughtfully offered to me a gift card instead.
All in all, it has been a challenging yet wonderful 2017. It was another year which I have deliberately lived without having any official resolution. Nonetheless the twists and turns in life have challenged me with another big leap of faith, and had miraculously brought me to this Nordic land of Finland.
Despite all the hardships during the transition period, I am at least happily enjoying my cups of coffee now, cherishing the flexibility of working hours, getting busier but advancing my knowledge while working with a boss whom I could admire and respect.
After letting my life flow freely for the past two years, I guess it is now the time to pick up the shattered pieces beneath my soul and to pursue my objectives with complete strength. I must be back in control to be the person whom I have wanted to be. I will now count on 2018 to be a better one.
Friday, 29 December 2017
Wednesday, 27 December 2017
Estonia (Tallinn) - December 2017
Travelling with a colleague whom we barely known each other, but merely
by name for almost a decade, and finally having some connection through work
projects which eventually led us to the path of becoming the great travelling
companion.
I did at some point regretted my decision on booking the 7.30am ferry
to Tallinn, as we needed to be there at the terminal at least 1.5 hours prior
to departure, which signifies getting up as early as 5.00am. However everything
turns out to be well planned and we do have sufficient time going round the old
town and enjoying our meals in an absolutely relaxing pace.
Knowing my motion sickness that constantly ruined my sea trips, I took
two anti-nausea pills in advance hoping to withdraw myself from the fate of
feeling sick. However 2 pills for a 2 hours journey doesn’t seems to be
adequate and thus I am forced to swallow some additional dozes in order to feel
better. Looks like I have to seriously contemplate my future plan of visiting
St.Petersbourg by ferry, and wondering if I could survive that 14 hours of
misery.
Landed at the port of Tallinn at 9.30am, we wrap ourselves completely well
before starting our adventure. The old town of Tallinn is indeed beautiful, unique
and adorned with the Christmas ornaments that creates the perfect seasonal ambiance.
People we have met are fun, friendly, and the restaurants we visited provide
great services and delectable food. The Unesco listed Historic Centre (Old
Town) of Tallinn has been really well-preserved, and most of the buildings are
uniquely constructed. Tallinn is definitely a great weekend destination due to
the physical proximity, affordable ferry options, the ease of getting to the
old-town by foot and with minimal language barrier.
The returning ferry is scheduled to depart from Tallinn at 7.30pm, and
we were both exhausted from the 13 hours day out. Luckily we found a
comfortable seat in the ship to have a sip of coffee and a cup of sundae, as
well taking turns to linger around the shops. Having being told the fact that
many Finns travelled the weekend to Tallinn just for cheaper alcohols, we
finally witness how insane they could be by purchasing a few cartons of beers
and luggage of wines, liquors, spirits and etc. Without the absence of drunken
souls who tried to talk to us while we were waiting for the tram and inside the
tram, we just laugh and joke our way off to reduce the level of interactions.
Nonetheless, every one of these tipsy individuals expresses their friendliness
to us and did uttered the same sentence sincerely: “Welcome to Finland” – thank
you for making us feel welcomed! :)
Sunday, 29 October 2017
Maldives - October 2017
Without intense discussions or stern contemplation, one of my best mate
and I merely raised the subject and agreed almost immediately to the idea of spending
a short holiday in Maldives, and everything were subsequently booked and
arranged within days. After having Maldives in my travel plan for years, I
could finally witness this paradise on earth for the first time.
Two things which I have insisted in this trip:
i. All meals must come in buffet
style; and
ii. Our room has to be a water bungalow
We have at first filtered a list of resorts that offer the
all-inclusive packages, since we were both too lazy to even think and decide on
our meals during the stay. We set aside RM5000 for the 3D3N trip,
and apparently some luxury resorts that come with a private jacuzzi overshot
our budget hence we relegated our standard to a more rational and economical
one.
Our primary plan was to spend a night in Male as advised by most of the
travelers on the web due to the late and odd arriving hour of Airasia at 8.10pm,
however the check-in time at 2.00pm on the next day left us with very limited
amount of time on the island thus we decided to pay the extra bills and check-in
directly to Adaaran Club Rannalhi on our first night. One of the plus point of selecting
speedboat over a seaplane is that the transfer service do operate at night. Understanding
that the hotel desires to maximize the profit while minimizing the cost on the speedboat
transfer service where they would collect the passengers while waited for the
other guests to arrive, but more than 1.5 hours of waiting time was a little
excessive for two tiring souls. We lingered in the airport fantasizing the
comfort of sinking into our bed once we get into our room. The sea ride wasn’t
a smooth one due to the undulating waves crashing violently against our boat
throughout the journey. But fortunately the small window at the front deck of the
boat provided us with sufficient fresh air and works the miracle in averting my
seasickness. Upon our arrival at Velana International Airport, we visited one
of the cell store and purchased 2 of the 7 days data sim package offered by Dhiraagu
at USD$22.00 for 15GB which makes life easier and kept us connected to the
outside world.
Maldives is definitely the well-known destination for honeymooners, to
the extent that there were no blinds or curtains in the bathroom and everything
can be seen through the window at night if standing on the balcony of our water
bungalow. Looks like the rooms are catered only for couples while they were not
meant for friends. Due to our late arrival on the first night, we have no idea
what is buried in the dark opposite of our room and being bothered by the idea
of showering in an open view, we have searched almost every corner in the room to
collect whatever stuff that could be used as a temporary shade to at least
obscure the sight for a peace of mind.
The weather was so erratic that the sun and the rain would come
interchangeably within minutes. We could wake up greeting the great sunshine
but after 20 minutes of washing-up, we were devastated by the pouring rain. We
could be monitoring the rain outside of our balcony waiting for it to stop before
we could go for lunch, but once we opened the front door, it was raining cats
and dogs despite that we noticed that the rain subsided from the balcony.
We were both having wounds and scratches on our legs due to the surrounding
corals. The water beneath our bungalow was crystal clear but rather shallow and
during the low tide hours, we could easily hit on the corals whenever we try to
paddle in the water. The watersports doesn’t come with a cheap price as
expected, but we still went for an hour’s canoe ride at $31.00 (inclusive of
taxes).
The all-inclusive package is certainly a value for money. We get the
free flow drinks (alcoholic beverages included) and snacks throughout the day. Although
there were no wow factors in the choices of food, but we have nothing to moan
since they fed our stomach well. The room cleaning services was great as the
staffs tidy our room at least twice a day knowing that some water activities
will certainly ruin the neatness of the room.
Knowing the preciousness of sunshine especially from the current frosty
country which I am residing, I threw myself under the sun as much as I can
before returning to the land of pure white snow. Despite the sunburn I got on
my hands and shoulder, I did enjoy this vacation wholeheartedly.
One of the epic joke in this trip: During the breakfast session one
morning while I was in an half-awake and dozy state, I took 2 pieces of waffles
from the tray and thinking to add some toppings to it and I simply grab the nearest
ladle soaked in the gravy and pour it over our waffles without realizing that
those are the raw flour mixture rather than the syrup!
Having spent less than 25% of my cash, I would now keep them for my
next USD destination.
Sunday, 2 July 2017
The Memory of a Temp-Londoner
Never did I made-believe
that I would live my life as a Londoner squeezing in the subways, and wandering
around Waterloo just like the Brits one day. I held my gratitude and spirit
high as some dreams that has been slowly erased by time and some wishes that has
been gradually elapsed are still sprouting in my path even though they are somehow
fading in memory.
Before I could explore
each and every bit of London and falling in love with her beauty, it is again
time for me to move on. Looks like I am somehow out of my mind deciding to move
from a chilly environment to a frostier climate. Obviously, the bait of opportunity
and growth still appear to be attractive and preceding all adversities, and
emboldens me towards accepting this challenge.
During my first year
in London, many have come to me commenting (mostly in a cynical way) that I was
fortunate enough to move to a place with a stronger currency, shorter working
hours and lesser stress. However do you really think that living in one of the
largest metropolitan in the world would come with lower stress level compared to
any other parts of the world? After spending 3+ years in this iconic city of
art and architecture, I recognize that the lower level of stress has no direct
relation to the lower workload or minor cost of living (in fact London has been
rated one of the most expensive cities to live in), but it is rather how people
live their life. The level of competitiveness and vanity is rather different
compared to Asia and their culture of reading has positively shaped their
courteous behaviours and mind-set.
Starting a new life in
this Nordic country of Finland, I have undoubtedly being presented with a list
of challenges. Looks like it is again time for me to get equipped with the armour
and head-on to the battlefield with full energy. A more active lifestyle might
be all I needed. With the bucket list on hand, this would have been the best
guideline towards achieving more dreams. This chance of restarting my life once
more is definitely a gift, another opportunity to experience an entirely
different world.
Sunday, 25 June 2017
A New Life Begins...Again
I am feeling as if my life is progressing beyond a lightning speed, and before I could truly admire and appreciate the beauty of London, I am again on the move and preparing myself for the next destination relocating to another country - Finland. Having controlled and suppressed my buying desires and practicing minimalism during my years in London, I was lucky to have only 3 boxes + 3 suitcases of items to be shipped.
Adapting to a new lifestyle and a new environment is never easy, this includes but not limited to:
- Getting used to the third type of keyboard with different layout (on top of the Asian and European version, here comes the Nordic one).
- Went for groceries shopping without understanding the labels as everything is either in Finnish or in Swedish. I have therefore befriended a new mate - the Google Translate app which has become my life saver in many instances.
- Getting used to the different notes and coins in Euro (€) which is rather different compared to Pound Sterling (£).
- The sun that sets at 10.30pm and rises again at 3.00am (and the sky never really gets dark in between the hours) + the upcoming darkness with only 6 hours of daylight per day.
- Most of the websites doesn't come in English.
- The confusing means of transportation in getting around and the difficult name of each stop and station.
- Receiving all documents (housing insurance, electricity bill and letters) in Finnish and not being able to understand a single word from the papers.
- Changing from a 3-pin plugs country to a 2-pin plugs kingdom is always a problem requiring extra converters for every electrical item.
Definitely there are some unavoidable hiccups and surprises that tagged along as a package in my journey:
- The shipping company that I have selected provides terrible services and I ended up with a full page of complaint in respond to their customer survey.
- Trying to soothe my heartbeats as everything in the Nordic countries comes with a higher price tag compared to London. (Sorry London…I will never complaint that you are expensive ever again!)
- Shopping is definitely not as convenient without the efficient delivery services. For someone who has been the loyal customer of Amazon Prime, a > 72 business hours processing time became rather annoying and intolerable.
- Some research suggested that 66% of the Finns speaks English, but looks like I am “lucky” enough to have bumped into the remaining 34%.
- The electricity could only be activated once someone has literally “moved-in” and time was wasted while waiting for the activation.
- The rented apartment/flat comes without a ceiling light and I have to install my own lamps. This is the time when my height posted an issue because I could hardly reach the ceiling even when I am standing on a stool.
- Almost all automated phone features operate solely in Finnish. I tried calling the groceries shop due to some issues with my home delivery order and the Management Office due to the water leakage in the bathroom, but nothing is in English and even when the call gets through, apparently the guy who answers the phone doesn’t speak English and he therefore interrupted my sentence abruptly with some alien languages (Finnish) and immediately hang-up.
Further stress was added when:
- I am living without a proper internet connection for the first 3 weeks and the phone reception wasn’t great inside the house.
- I am not able to open a local bank account before receiving my resident permit, hence I am forced to use my UK bank account to survive and every purchases with the credit card comes with an extra 2.75% non-sterling transaction fee and an addition of £4.00 for each debit transaction.
- The water in the heating bar started to leak just after 15 days of staying in the apartment/flat.
- The sound proofing in the building was extremely poor and I could even hear the water flow from the bordering units, and needless to mention the midnight movements of the inconsiderate neighbors.
- The winter jacket has become my temporary blanket for at least 1 week before I received my duvet and bought myself a mattress.
- The luggage bag has as well became the counter to place my laptop and the food plates before getting myself a proper table.
- Some ex-UK colleagues who constantly asking for extra supports and favors forgetting the fact that I am no longer working for their entity and I do have my current workloads.
However, I was grateful and glad that:
- I have now a place for myself and without the frustration of having someone entering my room without permission and using my things without even bother to ask.
- I could fully enjoy the kitchen without someone stealing my foodstuffs and messing up the area with unwashed dishes and food-stains all over the floor.
- I have finally the mixed tap in the house and no longer facing the very typical British problem of having the cold and hot water flowing from 2 separate faucets.
- I could now enjoy the free flow of hot water without depending on the old-style boiler with limited output.
- A nice taxi driver who fetches me from the airport and helped me to figure out in getting into my apartment.
- A Malaysian colleague who met-up with me for dinner on my first day of arrival and the Chinese cuisine we had was surprisingly good.
- The cashier in one of the shop willingly exchange some goods for me despite that I messed up the receipts and have presented to them the wrong one.
- The very kind parents of a Finnish colleague who offered to bring me the inflatable bed since the apartment came totally empty. In addition, they were very attentive in preparing as well the kitchen towel, bedsheets, oven gloves, toothpaste just to ensure that I could settle-in comfortably.
- Some friends (and merely these few who cares) that had taken the time to frequently check-in on me just to see if my relocation was fine.
- The water is not as hard as UK and there will be less lime scale to clean.
- The handsome shipment delivery guy who helped me to move my parcels all the way up to my apartment’s floor rather than leaving them at the ground entrance.
- With the convenient and nice coffee machine in the office, I guess I could not escape from being a coffee addict once again.
- The cafeteria in the office building is offering delicious lunch options, and I could finally get a healthier and balance diet.
There is always something new to learn in life and I am certainly blessed with another chance to restart my life. I hope that this move will be a great experience for me and eventually be another wonderful path to shape every aspects of me in becoming a better individual.
Wednesday, 3 May 2017
梦如人生,人生如梦 3
永远不要轻易去评论轻生者之对与错,因为旁人永远无法衡量当事人所经历和承受的苦,悲与痛。也许某些事对某些人来说微乎其微,可是同一件事也许在他人心里却是人生的全部。活着,需要勇气。结束生命,同样的也需要勇气。
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